#and having a lot of weird and embarrassing things going on but.
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out of breath, got me going like...
attractive things that the blue lock men do.
itoshi rin, itoshi sae, nagi seishiro, michael kaiser, oliver aiku, yukimiya kenyu
itoshi rin sends you gym pics without you having to ask.
it initially took a lot of convincing, at first, to get rin to send you a picture. in his eyes, it was embarrassing— the idea of pulling his phone out mid-workout, taking a picture, sending it to you, and then going back to whatever he was doing. his mind would drift off to the weird stares he would probably get from others, and the fact that he also wasn’t exactly known for knowing how to pose to begin with. as much as he loved making you happy, there were just some things he was not willing to do.
it took a lot of begging, and for the first few months, the answer was always, “no.”
the first picture came unexpectedly. your phone was thrown off to the side of the bed, not really anticipating any texts from rin for the next hour or so, given the fact that he was at the gym. so you were surprised when you heard a familiar tune come from your phone— one specifically assigned to his contact. you had no idea why he would be texting you.
you’re absolutely floored at what you see; jaw left hanging and eyes practically bulging out of their sockets, almost dropping the phone.
it's a gym picture. he's doing a normal pose, nothing too special. he’s standing in front of the mirror, one hand shoved into the pocket of his shorts, and the other holding onto his phone. his face was partly covered by his phone, but you could see the blush spread across his cheeks and the tips of his ears. but it wasn’t that that got your attention— no, it was something entirely different.
he was wearing a sleeveless compression shirt, giving you a full view of his arms. they were glistening in sweat and perfectly toned. the arm that was propping his phone up was slightly flexed, from the position it was in, adding to the bulk and definition in his biceps. and you could see the veins traveling up the arm of his hand, the one that was shoved into his pocket, crawling up from the back of his hand to his forearm. the bright overhead lighting, with a combination of the dim background lighting, served to emphasize every line and crevice of his exposed skin.
“this what you wanted?” came a message right after, “i know you’re reading this right now, respond.” you felt weak. he definitely researched how to do this.
words couldn't describe how you felt. so, your immediate response was to send him a flurry of incoherent texts; a mixture of randomly pressed keys and crying emojis. but that’s what feeds his ego— your reactions are what makes smile smugly to himself, covering his lips with his hands as he reads your texts over. he starts to send you gym pictures more consistently after that, patiently waiting for your response after each one. at this point, it’s become a part of his gym routine.
itoshi sae drapes his arm over the back of your seat while reversing.
driving with sae was a true test of control— specifically, yours. it had become increasingly hard to focus whenever he was driving, with every little motion of his body seeming to pull your attention away from the road. he was just so distracting, to the point that you had started offering to drive instead. yet to no avail, because he always insisted on being the driver, furthering your silent suffering in the passenger's seat. but, there was nothing more testing than whenever he was reversing the car.
it’s an internal battle; it takes everything in you not to ogle him so openly. and somehow, you’re losing a battle to yourself.
it’s as if your eyes instantly become magnetized to sae— the way he moves when he rests his arm so casually, yet so securely, on the back of your headrest’s frame. and it doesn’t help that this position gives such a perfect view of him. the way the muscles in his arm ripple and flex ever so slightly, but visibly, under his loose dress shirt. the way his folded sleeves ride up every time, and the exposed part of his forearm constantly taunts you to take a peek. you hate that you suddenly become hyperaware of everything he does in that moment. especially his fingers, and the way they tickle the back of your neck, almost touching you but not quite there.
you have to hold back the subtle shudder that sweeps over your body.
it feels like he’s taking up so much space, demanding you to notice him. the way the scent of his cologne wafts over to you, the bergamot and sandalwood notes of it slowly overwhelming your senses. the faint shift in his posture, emphasizing the subtle stretch of his neck, giving you a view of his collarbones and necklace. and the way his lips curve ever so slightly when he speaks, his voice in a low tone, with his eyes flitting over to you momentarily before they’re back on the road.
it has to be intentional, he has to be aware of what he’s doing. “you’re doing this on purpose,” you mutter under your breath, willing yourself to turn away and look out the window.
“doing what on purpose?” he asks, but the mirth in his tone is evident— you can practically hear the tiny smirk that’s splayed on his lips. you’ve concluded that he’s sick in the head, that he’s playing with you right in your face. “i’m just making sure we don’t get into a crash, you baby.” and you willingly fall for it, every time.
nagi seishiro becomes clingy when it's just the two of you.
laying in your lap, while you’re absorbed in your own hobby, is one of nagi’s favorite pastimes. it keeps him close to you, but allows you both to do your own thing. sometimes, he’d take a nap while you work, one hand loosely holding onto yours in his sleep. other times, he’d play video games on his phone, making sure his volume is turned all the way down to not distract you. but most of the time, he likes to just lay there and admire you, with a barely noticeable smile on his lips.
but he becomes somewhat miffed whenever your hair falls in front of your face, blocking his (initially) flawless view of you. and it annoys him more whenever you don’t push it out of the way.
so, he decided to take it upon himself to move it for you, arm lazily stretched up to reach for you. you barely noticed it at first, so absorbed in the book that you were reading. the sensation of his fingers ghosting over your cheeks doesn’t register in your mind, and his touch is barely there. and then you feel it. his fingers are in your hair, gathering the strands on the back of his hand before he’s brushing it out of the way. it’s so gentle, the way he locks your hair behind your ear, and the way his hand lingers a little longer on your skin after. his fingers then travel from your ear to your jawline, finger lightly tracing the side of your jaw, and it makes you curl in on yourself at the feeling. (it tickles, but also oddly comforting.) and then, he’s pulling his arm back down to reach for your wrist instead, fingers wrapping around it.
your skin is tingling, and the surface of your skin feels warm— taken aback by the sudden act of affection. you glance down at him with a curious look, only to see that he’s already staring attentively at you, and you feel his hold on you tighten. “you know,” you begin, “you could’ve just asked me to do it for you.”
"you always get so lost in whatever you're doing," he mumbles slowly, his voice sounding almost whiney at the fact. his hand, the one firmly holding onto your wrist, is traveling up until it’s wiggling the book out of your hand. (you don’t miss the small furrow of his brows when you jokingly grip onto the book, before giving in and letting it fall to the side.) he takes this chance to intertwine your fingers, his larger hands completely enveloping yours. "i don't mind it, but i hate when i can’t see you."
michael kaiser holds intense eye contact with you when you're talking.
at times, you found it hard to talk to kaiser. he's constantly exuding such an intense confidence, one that's often present in his gaze, that you could never truly hold face-to-face conversations with him. you're always shying away from it, crumbling under the intensity, and he finds twisted pleasure in how flustered it makes you. the way the words always die on the tip of your tongue whenever your eyes meet, when you see that his focus is locked on you
it makes you look away, because it's the only thing you can do to escape it. but kaiser doesn't like it when you're looking away from him— he wants your attention. he wants to see you when you talk excitedly about your day.
he’ll get that attention however way he can. from where you're seated on the couch gives him quick access to you. you can feel his tattooed hand crawling up the skin of your thighs, sliding up slowly, leaving a trail of goosebumps as he goes. he stops short of the hem of your shorts, planting his hand firmly on the spot. he gives it a firm squeeze, fingers digging into the plush of your thighs— trying to get you to cave into him. “why won’t you look at me when you talk?” he’s leaning into you, invading your personal space despite the spacious couch. you can feel his breath on the shell of your ear with each word, “mein liebling, i want to see you when you talk. look at me.”
“you can listen to me talk without needing me to look at you,” you swallow, and his grip tightens ever so slightly at your words.
you're shifting awkwardly, trying to ignore the way your heart beats a little faster at the proximity, at the fact that his voice has started to sound almost pleading. almost— because he would never admit to something as desperate as pleading. it’s hard to focus when he’s this close, when he’s right there. his fingers remain on your thigh, tracing deliberate lines over your skin, and despite the way you're trying to resist, you can feel your resolve crumbling.
it’s not every day that you see someone like kaiser be on the precipice of begging for your attention.
“i promise, i’ll stop teasing you. look—” his other hand is hooking under your chin, coaxing you to look at him. and you do— his eyes, once intense and teasing, now holds a softer and almost guilty looking gaze. “keep talking, yeah?”
oliver aiku likes to loosen his necktie with one hand after a formal event.
neckties are the worst, an opinion oliver will stand by ‘til the end of time. he absolutely despises having to put one on for formal events, and he’ll do his best to charm his way out of having to wear one. it never works, so the second he puts it on, he’s already thinking of the moment he gets to pull it off of himself. he doesn’t think much of it when he does it— one finger looping in the space between his neck and necktie, and he’s pulling at it without care.
but recently, he’s started to notice how intently you’d been staring each time he did it.
oliver’s got a keen-eye; not even the smallest thing can get past him. he drinks in the sight of you when he does it, eyes fixed on you, and taking joy in the fact that you don’t even seem to notice. you’re too busy being fixated on his hand, and the way the vein on his hand becomes prominent when he flexes it to pull, or the way his fingers seem to play around with the fabric. your eyes are so sharp, but somehow so unfocused, all at the same time. he loves how it gets you worked up.
it’s entertaining, so he takes it up a notch.
he drags his fingers, slowly, down to the first button of his shirt. and then he’s unbuttoning it with one hand, putting in extra effort in exposing his collarbones. he can’t fight the grin that makes its way to his lips, at your reaction— your eyes are widening, and he can visibly see you gulp at the sight. and then your eyes are shooting up to meet his, and his grin becomes impossibly wider.
“like what you see?” the teasing and flirtatious lilt in his voice is unmistakable, and you can’t help but draw your eyes back down to where his hand is twirling the tie around his fingers. he makes you tick, but he’s also so attractive, and you hate that he can easily make you blush with his words.
“you wish.” you choose to look away with a scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. “it’s gonna take more than that.” that makes him oddly excited, brows raising in mild surprise, and you honestly should’ve known better. it’s like you’re offering up a new challenge to him, and he gladly accepts.
oliver still hates neckties; that’s an opinion that will never change. he still looks forward to the second he gets to pull it off. except now, he gets to play a little game with you while he does it.
yukimiya kenyu keeps a hand on your back at all times, in public.
it’s a habit formed purely from the fact that the streets of shibuya have the tendency to become really crowded, and yukimiya hates it when you get separated from him in such a crowd. he likes it when you’re right by his side— he can keep a close eye on you at all times and protect you from getting pushed around. and originally, it started off with holding your hands. it was fine during the colder seasons, providing the two of you with extra warmth. but you had both quickly realized that it could become quite uncomfortable during summer, making your hands all sweaty and sticky.
so he experimented. he let his arm drop from your shoulders to the small of your back, his palm hovering over your skin, initially unsure of how you would react.
“is this okay?” he would lean down to whisper in your ear, and his voice was so gentle and so concerned about you. even when he was the one getting shoved around by the crowd, with people constantly running into the sides of his shoulders, he was still only thinking about you. you and your comfort. “tell me if this is uncomfortable, and i’ll figure something else out. okay?”
it made you shiver— you felt a heat crawl up your spine, and your stomach was immediately fluttering with butterflies.
you nod, “no, this is okay.” more than okay, actually, but you keep that to yourself. “thank you for asking.” he flashes you one of his pretty smiles, and he leans up to look straight ahead in the crowd again. but this time, his touch is more present— his palm is now firmly planted onto your skin, and he’s actively weaving you through the crowded streets.
whenever someone would get too close to you, or if he anticipates that someone is about to crash into you, his hand would travel to the side of your waist. and yukimiya grips on it, pulling your body flush against his side, effectively pulling you out of the way. “sorry,” he’ll whisper an apology, not having intended to hold you so tightly. his hands will go right back to where they initially were, not without trailing his fingers on the way back, leaving sparks tingling across your skin where he touched. “did i hurt you?”
“no, i’m fine,” you can keep your hand there, you almost tell him. it drives you insane that everything he does is unintentional— but maybe, one day, you'll be able to tell him exactly what you’re thinking.
note. yukki debut on my acc ??? do we fw the casual, less poetic writing cuz there was really no way to make this poetic 👩🦯 just astronomically down bad writing all around
© rindreamery, 2024
tags. @choccorin @mininji
#blue lock#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#itoshi rin#itoshi rin x reader#itoshi sae#itoshi sae x reader#nagi seishiro#nagi seishiro x reader#michael kaiser#michael kaiser x reader#oliver aiku#oliver aiku x reader#yukimiya kenyu#yukimiya kenyu x reader
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holy shit wait…your 32???
I…im gonna cry
I didn’t know we can live this long…
not just trans mass but…
alterhuman…and plurals..and…
I can’t…
so happy
gonna cry……..
yes i am! i was born in 1992 :)
that's exactly why i have my age in my bio- i've wanted to show people that you don't "outgrow" fundamental parts of your identity. it's natural to adopt and shed identities as we age, but i've been out as genderqueer since 19! nothing has changed, i'm still the same genderqueer person i was all those years ago!
and if anything- life has gotten better in my 30s. as a word of advice to most people out there: your teen years and your twenties FUCKING SUCK!!!!!!!! they tell you those are the "best years of your life" but they're NOT- you're growing into a world that is terrifying and doesn't understand you. you're scared. your brain and body are still developing and you're constantly facing new challenges. those are honestly i think the HARDEST years of your life, hands down
when i was a teenager, i would think to myself "phht there's literally no way i'm making it past 25 lmao" and figure that life ends after 25. well, that day came where i turned 25... and nothing changed.
and then i turned 30. still, nothing changed
now i'm 32 and... nothing has changed. maturation happens with age, yes, but it doesn't mean that you're suddenly a completely different person. people have such a shitty view on 30 year olds, like it's somehow "embarrassing" to be above the age of 25 years old. people in their 30s are constantly picked on, we're constantly told to "act our age" when... we are. i'm happier than ever realizing that I made it to my 30s, still trans, still nonhuman, still plural
i've been in treatment for DID since 2017, and while i've healed a lot, i have not integrated with my alters, and i never will. i don't want to. this is how my brain functions. the dissociation can be a nightmare for me, but my brain needs different people inside of it in order to be able to function properly. we tried to force ourselves to live as a singlet for 3 years and what ended up happening was that host at that time cracked from being under the constant pressure and still has never returned. the amount of stress it placed on us to try to live as a singlet was not worth it. at all
there hasn't been a singular moment in my adult life where i stopped being nonhuman, either. that was something that i never even tried to force myself out of. i never viewed it as weird or something that i should "outgrow"- i told my own mother that i did not identify as human as a child and that never left me. even now, i still wear dog collars, ears, tails, and take nature walks and do things to make myself feel more like my nonhuman selves. i'm still a furry, too!
i might not be a queer "elder" yet, but i'm happy as can be to be able to be an older queer person who can use their experience to help younger folks. thanks for sending this message! trust me, there really is a life after your 20s. your teens and 20s suck massively. but after i passed 30 i became more down to earth about my age. it's not a bad thing to live past 20- in fact, it's a badge of honor. i made it. i'm still breathing, i'm still here, still queer, despite all attempts to prevent me from still being here.
i'm going to continue be here for a long, long time, and you can be here with me, too.
take care of yourself! thanks for stopping by!
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How do the twst girlies behave in regards to their partners tits?
Thank you! For asking! Important questions! Anon! Yes! 💪💪💪
I wanted to compile this list with some others girlie-related asks, but let’s be honest, I am too slow for that, so it’s better to give you this list today and to tease that I have at least two other genderswap hcs in the process of writing.
There are some other hcs that I should’ve prioritised, but today my soul craved some girlies, so I gave in.
Riddle – somewhere deep inside her heart this girl is a little boob-obsessed. The more she thinks she doesn’t care, the more she cares and catches herself staring. But is it her that keeps running into boobs or the boobs that keep following her everywhere? Somehow she always ends up bumping into someone else’s huge breasts with her face… In terms of intimacy, I think Riddle would be too shy to do anything at first, but as she gets more comfortable (or just horny enough to stop thinking), she’d really want to touch them. Maybe even kiss them. Maybe even suck on them a little bit (Floyd would find it weird; Trey would too but also endearing in a way). Freud has a lot to say about Riddle.
Ace – she does a lot of “playful” touching, like poking it, pinching it, doing the “honk honk”. Deuce gets so angry and embarrassed that there is no way Ace would stop doing that anytime soon. She says that it’s a neutral “no homo” type of thing, but somehow she only does it with Deuce… Whenever they’re intimate, I think Ace spends a lot of time touching her boobs, she clearly loves them; even though if Deuce was to cover herself in a locker room, Ace would roll her eyes and say “we literally have the same boobs, don’t even bother covering them”.
Deuce – she is not obsessed with boobs, even though sometimes she wants to avenge herself by grabbing Ace’s. But also, bigger boobs make her blush for some reason. When they are so big that they’re impossible to ignore, she gets a bit nervous that it’d look like she’s staring… So she actually averts her eyes a lot, especially with people like Trey or, of course, Jack. She tries not to look at Jack when they run together because she starts staring at her heavy boobs jumping up and down and forgets how to run. She gets wet dreams about them sometimes, which kind of makes her sound more obsessed than Ace lol
Trey – ah yes, the one that works with dough all the time. Trey hands are both gentle and strong, and despite being somewhat wishy-washy in a lot of other areas of life, when it comes to touching boobs, Trey is very confident and almost does it without thinking. But she is still very attentive to the reactions of her lover, so she would know how and where exactly to touch. There is a rumor that a girl could cum with Trey just touching her boobs, but is it really true? Trey would say that of course it’s not , but can we really trust her? She also loves smaller boobs, and the majority of girls she’s ever been attracted to were petite in this area. She would treat Riddle’s like tender little berries…
Cater – she is not as obsessed as all the previous ones, but she acts pretty cute about it. I feel like she is the type to take cute pictures of herself pressing her cheek against her lover’s tit, or cover only the nipple with her fingers or a sticker; a lot of cheeky playful stuff. She also kisses a lot and loves leaving marks – those are pretty cammable too! Even though none of those pictures would go on the internet of course.
Leona – she is a pillow princess for the most part, and she acts like she doesn’t care about anything related to her partner’s physique at all, but big boobs make her think of Falena’s large honkers, so she actually enjoys Ruggie having tiny ones. She doesn’t do anything about them though and barely even comments on them, but there was one time when she fell asleep with her lips pressing against Ruggie’s boob like it’s a tiny pillow just for her mouth and chin. And the rest of her pose looked pretty uncomfortable, so it felt very intentional.
Ruggie – she doesn’t care all that much, to be honest. She knows how to pleasure a girl though, so she is pretty good at playing with boobs. She likes squeezing the nipples between her fingers and pulling on them, and diving deep into huge boobs with her fingers also feels pretty nice. She gets into it during the process I guess, especially with Leona’s size and shape. But when she isn’t aroused, she is just too used to seeing Leona sleeping in random places and random poses, a lot of times either bra-less or straight-up with some part of her tit out. Can’t lose your head over this – she’d stay headless at all times.
Jack – she bites. She tries to be more gentle and to suck and kiss instead, but the moment she feels the warm soft flesh against her teeth, she can’t help it and starts nibbing. This is why she tries not to get close to this area with her mouth in general, but that always results in her drooling pretty badly, which results in her wanting to hide her face, which results in her pushing her mouth against Deuce’s boobs again... And with Vil, who is smaller than Deuce, Jack would lift it with her big tongue and put it in her mouth entirely. Actually, she is usually surprisingly okay with keeping it together, but when she actually sees naked breasts, it’s like something activates in her brain.
Azul – she also bites… When she gets too aroused, of course. Sometimes it’s because she is pissed off and horny at the same time, sometimes her being playful and “dangerous”. In general though, she doesn’t care about boobs too much, and she absolutely doesn’t care about big boobs – she doesn’t even consider it something that could be hot to her personally. With the smaller ones that are so unlike hers and the tweels, sometimes they make her react unexpectedly even to her. Biting is one example lol But she also rubs them gently, talks about them being so cute and small, almost cooing but still being very condescending somehow. Azul is a bitch, huh. Oh, and when she is in her mermaid form, her tentacles are all over poor Idia’s or Jamil’s tiddies, she sucks them right in and squeezes them brutally, leaving a lot of nasty bright marks.
Jade – nipple torture. I mean. Sometimes. She loves doing stuff that would make it change it size and shape. Anything that would make it puffier, anything that pumps it, makes it longer, makes the bead more visible. She could do it by either rubbing them in a very specific way or with the help of mushrooms, potion injections, needles and other stuff. Sometimes she looks at people in the locker room and thinks who would be the perfect victim… Idia is a good option in terms of physical aspects... Other than that, Jade isn’t really into boobs.
Floyd – if there is a thing one could do to a boob, Floyd does it. She does everything. She loves putting an entire boob in her mouth and playing with it, she loves almost torturing boobs with her hands, loves squeezing them really hard, slapping them lightly, anything that could ever come to her mind. She loves all the sizes, but Riddle’s boobies feel unique because she doesn’t usually get to see someone who is this flat. One time she rubbed Riddle’s nipples through the clothes so hard that Riddle’s knees started visibly shaking… Idia is also flat, but a bit perkier, so Floyd prefers to tug on hers instead of rubbing them in. She could play with boobs for hours, it’s not even about pleasuring the girl to her sometimes, it’s just like a very fun toy <3
Kalim – it feels like she doesn’t care, but she does. She isn’t as invasive as Floyd, but she touches a lot, it just doesn’t feel sexual a lot of times, like she is genuinely just that physical. There are times though when she looks Jamil in the eyes and then looks down at her breasts and caresses them very carefully, as if admiring them, but not really knowing how to touch them. And sometimes she stares at Jamil’s breasts when they bathe together, and it makes Jamil want to cover herself, even though they’ve been comfortable around each other naked all the time ever since they were kids. Something is cooking inside Kalim’s brain…
Jamil – she wouldn’t touch Kalim at all in that way even if they were intimate, for a lot of reasons including because she feels like she isn’t supposed to. But when boobs bounce in her face, she really wants to grab them sometimes. And it might seem aggressive, but maybe she genuinely likes it when they bounce… She would be very grabby with Azul’s breasts if they were intimate, and would say that this is because her tits piss her off, and the way Jamil squeezes her teeth make it seem like she just wants to bite them off sometimes. But maybe it just means that she wants to suffocate herself with them… she is conflicted but she certainly isn’t uninterested.
Vil – Rook’s big boobs are a big source of comfort for her; when they were freshmen she used to put her face down here and muffle her frustrated moans with them whenever she would get angry. She thinks that it’s kind of childish now, but every now and then, when the stress overwhelmed her and Rook welcomes her open arms, Vil sighs and does it again. It ruins both Rook’s shirt and Vil’s makeup, so it’s better to do it at the end of the day. In a sexual setting though, she touches them, but not excessively, she’s mostly teasing Rook who doesn’t really like being touched too much. Still, she finds her breasts beautiful and hot.
Rook – a serial boob grabber. She is one of the biggest boob lovers of the cast; whenever she sees a pair of boobs, her hands move involuntarily, forming a perfect cupping position for this exact size and shape. She loves any kind of boob and sees beauty in all of them, so whoever she is with would experience… a lot. If she wasn’t pacified by Vil, her feral ass would’ve touched everyone’s boobs instead of saying hi, just because she can’t help herself. Speaking of Vil, other than writing poems about her beautiful snowy mounds with sun-kissed pinkish tips, she does all kinds of things with her boobs. She loves playing with them with her fingers, rubbing them, kissing them and especially leaving a lot of hickeys on them. One time she did it before Vil’s big swimsuit photoshoot and got in big trouble for that…
Epel – now this is someone who would enjoy screaming into the boobs to relieve her anger, and if Vil is feeling generous, she would allow Epel to do it with Rook one time lol But other than that, she stares at the bigger girls’ boobs for the most part. She thinks that this is out of pity because she can’t think of a worse fate than having large breasts, but nah, she just likes staring at them. Being a country girl, she feels the appeal on a very deep level; maybe Freud would have something to say about her as well. But then he would see Epel suddenly biting into Floyd’s huge tit (it’s because Floyd teased her!) and shut the fuck up.
Idia – it’s not like she is super interested or something, but… she finds big boobs so unusual and weird, as if sometimes she forgets that this isn’t just something that was invented by eroge. So naturally, she wants to squeeze them every now and then, but only when they hang out with Azul for a long period of time. And it’s always very sudden for Azul because Idia just hugs her from behind sometimes, squeezes them and instantly leaves, losing interest. Maybe one day she’ll get into it enough to touch them more or to bury her face in them or even bite (as if Azul would allow any of that), but for now she just randomly attacks Azul’s boobs and goes away to reflect on how heavy they are and how they don’t fit in her pretty big hands. With the Tweels though, the boobs are so huge that Idia gets completely overwhelmed. She wouldn’t dare to touch them… She could touch Sebek though, but once again, only under very specific circumstances! With Lilia’s boobs however, she doesn’t care at all – both are flat, so there is nothing but a feeling of solidarity there…
Ortho – as always, Ortho’s approach is somewhat scientific! She is very intrigued by boobs, and wants to learn more about how to interact with them in a way that would be pleasurable. She tried out different covers for her hands to make them softer and warmer for when she plays with them, but she also added some suction thingies for other kinds of stimulation… and was so confused when Idia said to her that this kind of shit only appears in hentai and doesn’t work irl. Weird, Vil-san seemed to enjoy it… Vil could be a huge help in general because Ortho really wants to crack the code of what to do to make Idia enjoy having her boobies touched. They’re similar in size, so it’s great!
Lilia – the absolute master of playing with boobs of every size. She likes boobies a lot; she is the type to be a menace by randomly appearing behind someone and grabbing their boobs just to see them jump. She is almost as obsessed as Rook, in some ways even more obsessed, and extremely experienced. It’s like whenever she sees a pair of boobies of her partner, she instantly has a plan of how exactly she’s going to play with them. She pinches Idia’s small ones, tugs on them and puts them in her mouth entirely to tease Idia; she touches Silver’s nipples very slightly and gently to see them perk up with little stimulation before squeezing them very hard; she is all over Malleus’ large boobs and massages them ferociously, diving with her entire face down there to cover them with hickeys and bites because Malleus can take it.
Silver – she doesn’t care really, but she does fall asleep on Sebek’s breasts every now and then. She always apologises when she wakes up, but is she really all that sorry? They’re very nice to sleep on… She is also the only lucky girl to be allowed to suck on Lilia’s tits, and she is always very gentle about it. Lilia thinks that it’s Silver’s treat for being her good little daughter, but Silver thinks that it’s her indulging Lilia and not the other way around lol Silver just looks so cute when she does it!!
Sebek – this girl so obviously tries not to look at other’s breasts. She is very easy to read; sometimes she even squeezes the air without realising it and grinds her teeth very hard. She fights the urge that she herself doesn’t even fully realise: the urge to squeeze, to mash, to grab, to lick and to bite. It’s getting so bad that she can’t even look at Silver’s anymore, even though they’ve always been very comfortable being naked around each other. Idia’s also make her feral because she is very small and the nipples seem perky, as if they’re teasing Sebek and asking to get bitten and pulled..!! With Malleus though, Sebek would lose her shit completely, it would take every single drop of will that she has to stay as composed as possible when presented with her liege marvelous large breasts. She’s in luck though because Malleus likes it rough.
Malleus doesn’t really care much about other’s breasts, but she cares about being a flirt when she’s feeling playful, so she might comment on how they look (especially with Sebek who gets very flustered about it). When she is being extra playful, she could bite Lilia’s or even nib on it a little bit, but she knows that Lilia hates it when she does it, so this is just Malleus being a cheeky little brat.
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Familiar By Thy Side pt 2
super excited to share part two with all of you!! sorry it’s been a bit since I updated, my school clubs are starting up and I’ve been figuring out all my stuff as I go.
relationships: (drumroll) Agathario/Reader!
lots of yall said it should be agathario/reader, so I’m delivering! thank you for all the feedback :)
warnings: uhhh, I don’t think there’s any, but who knows.
The next time you’re able to remember current events, you’re laid down on a dock, in nothing but your wet undergarments. With a loud gasp, you shoot up, chest rapidly rising and falling. Everything is overwhelming, the noise of the lake, the splashing and laughter, the bristle of trees’ leaves, the creaking of the dock — it’s too much, everything is too much. You can’t recognize anything, your whereabouts completely unknown as the cold sinks into your achy bones and shaky fingers.
Finally, you see someone just barely familiar. Nicholas, laughing and splashing his Mother just twenty feet off to your side in the shallow waters. With a hard breath, you look around and try to focus on regaining your senses. Previously dirty skin is shining clean again, your hands brushing over it in confusion. Agatha had bathed you? The thought of being unconscious and vulnerable makes your spine shiver, gaze hardening at Agatha. The moment you fully look at her, really recognize her, you have such a hard time hating her. The smile plastered on her raw face, laughter so hard she’s forced to wheeze and turn her back from her boy, she looks human to you for the first time in, well, however long you’ve been with them.
Nicky is the first to notice you, his smile still wide as he waves to you. Agatha snaps her head to your direction, icy blue eyes running along your posture for a good read. There’s a subconscious relent in Agatha when she realizes how scared you are right now. There’s so much familiarity in that showcase of fear for her, that she’s slightly taken aback by the memories of nights when she was younger and afraid. A low growl dies down into a clearing of her throat, Agatha turning away.
“Nicholas, you’ll get frozen if we’re here any longer,” she states, but Nicky knows it’s a demand.
He pouts but doesn’t argue with his mom, waddling out of the water that Agatha easily cruises through. Her outfit matches yours — nothing but undergarments, and it’s clear that they had been playing in the water for quite some time. A weird thought festers in your mind, happy that despite being apathetic to everything, Agatha knows that her son is but a boy and deserves to have fun.
By the time Agatha and Nicholas are fully dressed in their slightly damp clothes — ones you haven’t seen before, so you realize they must’ve been stolen during your lights-out phase — the embarrassment settles in. You feel even more vulnerable now, the only one absolutely indecent enough for viewing. Agatha lets Nicholas head back to their makeshift camp just some odd feet out, her journey steering to open a medium-sized leather pouch, and take out some clothes. Silently, Agatha walks down the doc to toss them in your lap.
“What did you do to me?” is the first thing that comes out of your mouth, more so questioning how she managed to subdue you so easily.
“Bathed you. Nothing more nothing less.”
The sharpness of her tone makes you realize she believes you to be questioning something else, a small flinch on your face.
“Not that, that I understand well. The time I was awake, we were fighting, and then…”
“Then I came to the smart conclusion you were too shambled to make such a journey and made it so you did not kill Nicky, nor I,” she answers, still on the defensive.
You don’t argue back with her. Neither do you even try to dry off with anything, immediately trying to put on your clothes.
“Wait.”
You stop at her words, convinced it was her magick rather than your obedience. “What?”
Agatha walks off the dock, leaving you confused on whether or not you should continue. She turns her back to you again a couple seconds later, heading down the platform before tossing you a damp rag.
“To dry. These clothes will be yours next few days, nothing wet against your skin will be comfortable enough for our journey. We leave tonight again.”
You wet your lips, holding the rag before looking up at Agatha. Seeing her this close, it’s no wonder she was able to lure in many with a beguiling feeling of comfort. Agatha is motherly in many of her actions, even when she’s killing witches, surprisingly enough. Motherly or not completely monstrously, you’re not sure.
“Thank you, Agatha,” you say softly, her name foreign on your tongue.
“Make haste, the sun will set in a few hours time.”
A simple nod from you has Agatha walking over to her son, your hands working to dry off your body with the rag. It’s slightly rugged, a little ripped and the edges are frayed. Although, you can’t be too picky, you suppose. Agatha almost gave you nothing. You’re not sure why she didn’t, why she let you dry off. It truly wouldn’t have been that uncomfortable for you, walking all that distance would’ve heated your body up and in turn the clothes would’ve probably helped cool you down. You turn around on the dock to run the rag over your chest, Agatha’s mean eyes running along your back.
In her own mind, Agatha is beating herself up over giving you that rag. Why did she care if you were comfortable? If anything, Agatha only wants you to be uncomfortable around her, to be scared around her. It’s much easier that way, for you to be terrorized into obedience. She’s not sure, but maybe after being in your mind during the week in Salem she saw one too many correlations between you and Her. Agatha clenches her jaw, refusing to believe that after six years clean she’s genuinely letting herself feel the things she long ago buried about Rio. The name sends shivers down her spine, eyes running to find her boy. He’s nestled against a tree, fixing his hair into a braid. The facial expression she finds on him is way too similar to Rio’s mouth open in concentration, nose tilted up. Agatha comes to the realization that she can never get away from the sound of the woman that loves her, and it haunts her. Rio’s voice in the mornings, her small touch throughout the day, the sweet laugh she let out at Agatha’s off-colored jokes, everything that was and is Rio stays within Agatha. Her eyes fall down to her hands, balling them up tightly before she lets go of them with a sigh.
You walk down the dock, fully dressed and mainly dry. Wet against your neck is your hair, but you simply scrunch it up and keep it behind your shoulders. Agatha is moving Nicky up, sitting behind him as she starts softly speaking to him and doing his hair for him. The braid wasn’t the best, so Agatha simply undoes it and starts over. He doesn’t seme to mind, lost in the conversation as he drags a stick through the dirt to spell out his name. The scene is a little too vulnerable and familial for you to want to engage in, even if you’re more calm than when you first woke. There’s some slight gratitude you feel for Agatha, considering that she didn’t completely undress you when bathing you. Despite the slight awkward dampness of the materials against your skin, it’s something to be thankful for.
You’re too caught up in trying to figure out everything that happened — stubbornly refusing to ask Agatha — that you don’t notice her sit next to you. Of course, there’s still a couple feet of distance from the two of you, but you’re unsure why she wouldn’t sit by Nicholas. Until you realize he’s not here.
“Where is the boy?” you ask, your body more unsettled without him. This makes no sense, and you know it, but you swear Agatha is almost human around him. Despite that she’s killed in front of the boy, openly explained that she kills witches to him, and still speaks down to you around him, it just feels safer when he’s around.
“Off to harvest some berries past that brush,” she replies, and you’re almost surprised she actually does.
You just stay quiet, a slight nod of your head as your eyes lock on the fire.
“Salem was just fine, in case you were wondering,” mumbles Agatha, sniffling after as if to cover up everything she just said.
“Have they still been killling witches?”
There’s a small laugh from Agatha, her head shaking slightly. “Oh, please, we were much too clever to be killed during then. Those women were married to the worst of the worst, and killed simply so their husband could marry younger or justify his continuous infidelity.”
“We?” you ask, head turning to stare at Agatha. You weren’t aware that she was living in Salem during those times, but then again, you’re not sure how old Agatha actually is. “Yes, we. Womanhood came to me after spending my youth in that town. I left soon after.” Agatha’s tone at the end, her licking her lips and turning her head too, tells you that there’s something there — a story, no doubt, but you don’t question.
“Must have been quite fearful, I’d imagine.”
“They couldn’t catch us, dear, only a few were ever caught.”
The fire is crackling, your hands reaching out to warm up over the flames. Agatha watches, the way your hair falls off your shoulder and over, her eyes running along your clothes. You’re maybe in your early twenties, or older - it’s hard to tell with witches. Her body is way to relaxed with you so near, but she doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because she’s sure you’re magic isn’t as strong or because she’s sure you’re not skilled at all. Either way, Agatha doesn’t like it.
You don’t react to the word “dear” slipping from her mouth, certain its’ just another way to degrade you and poke fun. It doesn’t bother you. You don’t let it.
“Man has never been smart, have they?’ you chuckle out, flashing her a small smile.
Agatha responds with a shake of her head, pursing her lips. “Not much, no.”
Silence absorbs the both of you for a couple minutes, up until Nicholas stumbles through the brush. He’s brushing off some burs with a distasteful look.
“They’re so sharp,” he mumbles, very displeased with his clothes being covered in spikey balls. There’s a small smile from you, your hand lifting up to drop down. Just as the action is completed, all the burs fall from his clothes, his head snapping up to look at his mother.
“Thank you, mama.” “Don’t look at me, boy, that had nothing to do with me,” she chuckles slightly. “Would’ve been quite entertaining watching you flounder about a bit longer.”
Nicholas laughs slightly at his mom’s teasing, his eyes turning to you. “You then? Thank you.”
Turning back to the fire, you remain quiet as Agatha and her son converse together, the sun starting to fall. You still aren’t clear how long had passed since you last remember anything, but you’re too nervous to talk. Wringing out your hands, glaring at the fire only to occasionally look at the duo before you, you can’t find a good enough time to interject.
There’s a small huff from Agatha, her annoyed look turning to face you. “You’re loud.”
“Excuse me?” you ask out, a little bewildered at her statement.
“Your mind that is, you’re insufferable. What is it you need?”
Closing your gaping mouth, you blink a bunch before relenting. “How long was I — how long did you have control over me?”
Agatha wets her lips, turning back to the fire. “Maybe around eight days, including a portion of today.”
Eight days. It had been eight whole days. You swallow thickly, looking down to stare at the dirt below. She had been in your mind, controlling you, full access to everything for eight whole days. You feel perturbed at this information, wetting your lips down as you struggle to come to terms with that. What had she done in there? What had she seen? What had she messed up? What had she learned? It feels like a violation to you, your head turned away from her.
Apathetic to your discomfort, Agatha goes back to talking with Nicky about his day and what he found in the forest.
The next few days are spent silently for you, simply walking alongside Agatha. You wish you could’ve been behind her, away from her, but she insisted you go next to her to negate any chance of betrayal from you. Far too tired to argue and far too worried she’d overwhelm your mind again, you just gave in. During this journey, you didn’t car to ask her where you all were going, you just walked. And walked. And walked.
The group of you walked for days until reaching a newly-named settlement called Philadelphia, which had started booming since being labeled. Weirdly enough, Agatha was able to swindle an older man into letting the three of you crash, despite having no way of paying him back and being covered in grime. You watched the way she did it, hand on his bicep, straightening out his lapels, and showering him with praise. Alongside sickening you, you were intrigued. Agatha was a sight to behold, you were well aware of her beauty, but you and Nicholas being included on the deal? He was but a boy, and you weren’t ever the most attractive in your eyes, so how is it that he let all of you stay?
Being rushed into his home by Agatha’s hand on your back made you forget your questions, slugging into the room he offered and laying down on a couch in the corner. There were two beds, one for Nicholas and one for Agatha, so you assumed you’d be cramped up here for however long the stay lasted.
You were partially right. Agatha dumped her small amount of belongings onto the second bed, sorted them out into things that needed washing and things that were clean, doing the same with her sons too. Nicky sat on the first bed, shoes neatly tucked below as he took off his coat and fixed the collar of his shirt.
Agatha grouped up all of the clothes, put them into a bag, and handed Nicky two coins and the pouch. “Round down to the market, Nicky. Find a woman willing to launder our clothes and pay her well for her troubles.”
He gave his mom a look, a little shocked he was allowed to go out on his own, but he nodded his head and listened. Just as he slid off the bed, Agatha held his shoulder and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Be quick, be kind, and use any extra to get yourself something you like.”
Nicholas smiled widely at his mom, nodding his head before sprinting out when he was dismissed. Agatha started to fold the cleaner clothes, nestling them in the dresser nicely.
“How did you manage to convince that man?” you ask softly, sitting up on the couch.
Agatha turns her head to look at you, fixing her hair by tucking it just under her ear. “I’m persuasive.”
“There was more than that, d’you’re magick permit you to do so?”
Her lips are pursed as you push further, a small sneer on her face. “It is nothing of your concern, be grateful you’ve a placed to rest that isn’t dirt, girl.”
Agatha is cruel in her words, so you settle for questioning when she’s in a much better mood. Your questions are only making her feel more at odds with herself, hating the way those powers only work on men. After all, Agatha would much rather have her succubus powers sway women, at least there could be something more she could get out of it. Now she’s to deal with this man trying to hit on her, much more disturbing when she’s with her young boy, but Agatha won’t risk disturbing her magick at work. The last thing she needs is this man kicking them out, or far worse, claiming witch because he was rejected by her.
Nicky comes back twenty minutes later, hands full with two trinkets, and a wide grin. His eyes are sparkling as he runs up to Agatha.
“Mama, this nice lady just minutes out from here gave me these — free of charge, she said!” he laughs out, setting them on the bed which previously held clothes.
“Nicky, get them off the bed. Lord knows where they’ve been.” Agatha directs the boy with her hands, moving him out of the way as she does it herself. Whilst holding the items, her face pales and she glares. “Who gave you these, boy?”
“A woman, Mama, a kind lady.”
“A kind lady she is not, not if she tried her hardest. Nicky, you stay inside, no matter what.”
You watch Agatha, seeing her truly unsettled for the first time. The items as you look at them, are slightly odd, but nothing to signify anything perilous. One is a small painting of a flower, some sort of dipladenia if you can remember correctly. The other is a small, festive skull, something from the Spaniards’ holiday Día de los Difuntos, you reckon. There’s no reason Agatha should be this uptight over a simple gift from a townswoman.
Still, you keep quiet as you fon’t want to upset her any more. Nicholas is slightly distraught, watching his mother behave like this. She looks over at you.
“Watch the boy and stay here.”
With that, Agatha turns on her heel, coat lagging behind in her twirl, and slams the bedroom door behind herself. Nicky sits on the bed, his hands playing with the sheets as looks at the items Agatha threw down. The painting of the flower is in his hands, fingertips running over the medium used. There’s a hint of pity you feel for the boy, a small forwn on her your face as you move to sit next to him. The bed creaks.
“D’you know what flower that is?” you quietly query. He shakes his head. “It’s a diplandenia. A Rio Diplandenia. They take almost no care from others and thrive, very low maintenance from it’s maintainers. Beautiful, no?”
Nicky nods his head, looking up at you. His eyes are a little glossy. “A Rio?”
“Yes, boy, a Rio.”
For some reason, that brings a smile to his face. You’re not sure why, but you just smile back and watch him, your hand moving some of his hair behind his ear. “Whatever reason your mother has for acting like this, I’m sure it will be alright in the end. No need to fret over her antics.”
Nicky nods his head. “I’m not worried, I know what’s to come.” “Oh, do you now? Forgive me for not taking you as divination warlock,” you laugh slightly, bumping his shoulder.
Nicholas shakes his head, rolling his eyes at you. “No, no, not like that. I’ve just — I’ve got an ease within me. I know I’m okay, that I will be. I just worry for Mama.”
“Your mother is quite the strong witch, boy, she will be fine as well as you will.”
Nicholas looks like he’s on the brink of saying something, but his mother comes through the door, two bags full of what you assume are stolen travel items.
“Nicholas, these bags, now.”
Nikcy runs over to his mom, grabbing them and checking their fastenings. You kick his shoes out from under the bed, sliding them over to him. With your back turned to the group, you grab the painting of the flower and slip it under your clothes with the intent to give it to Nicky later.
In just ten minutes you’re out the door, your eyes just barely catching sight of a gray hand behind a corner wall. You swallow loudly, but remain vocally silent.
You’re not sure how many days pass when you’re thinking clearly again, too caught up in wondering why Agatha was so uptight to even care. The knowledge that Agatha has full access to your thoughts doesn’t hit you until after all your hard thinking. Agatha hasn’t said anything about it, so you assumed she either blocked you out or was too focused on moving to care.
#x reader#fanfic#agatha harkness#agatha all along#agatha harkness x reader#agatha harkness x rio vidal#rio vidal x reader#agathario#agatha coven of chaos#agatha x rio#rio vidal#the ballad of the witches road#agatha spoilers#agatha all along spoilers
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list some random headcanons you have for sir knight, mr. hood, and eden. GO
mr.hood
has abnormal strength in his arms / legs
utilizes weapons that can be used both single-handed and two hands. he probably loots off of things he's killed or stuff he has found. his favorite by far is his axe.
mr.hood doesn't have one specific room he stays in. he's constantly moving and traveling because things are constantly changing and to me he's someone who keeps a eye on things/in check.
friendly until aggo'd
has little to no heartbeat. his pulse is weird but that's kind of his normal and he's never thought to consider why too much
has a hard time retaining bodyheat. only reason why he might is he has multiple layers which is all long so it makes him somewhat cold but i do generally think he would lean more on the cold-to-the-touch side of things.
second to mr.crawling, i feel like mr.hood is another character i would argue that would pretty much do about anything for the mc. especially if you selected the "i want to stay with you" dialogue in his route. that's something mr.hood had to swish around in his head for a bit until it clicked. is ultimately why he ends up fetching you again and taking you under his wing because you needed him (and he has to admit... he likes being needed)
mr.hood teaching mc how to wield a crowbar efficiently (though mr.hood much prefers to be the one doing the protecting but i definitely think a scenario in which mc inquires or would like to learn- mr.hood would not deny but try to help) and more basic self-defense things should it be desired.
mr.hood likes mc sleeping under his cloak & huddled against him. kind of huddled like penguins. related to his cold body temperature-- the mc is warm unlike anything hes ever experienced so the moment is something very nice to him.
mc and mr.hood exchanging lessons about their languages.
sir knight
specializes in pastries. any sort of dessert related to the usage of bread or dough is his ballpark. he talks big about being able to do other things (and i know his stubbornness/determination would definitely try to make him persevere otherwise) but truly this is where his skills shine.
holds himself back a lot more than one would think in relation to his master (aka you); has to repetitively run it through his mind and mentally tell himself no because he's overjoyed. he truly cherishes you as his one and only yet he has to be professional and someone like him could never do half of the things he has probably dreamed of. master is sacred and he is.... yeah. he's that.
thinks back to when he treated you horribly and actually cringes. like secondhand embarrassment. he can't take it (why did i do that.. type beat)
sir knight does not have a solid face under the helmet so no kissing sorry. you gotta kiss the helmet dont be a coward. however i do think him using his smoke to engulf your face and tenderly brush against your lips is one way of him "kissing you"
sir knight can control the effects of his smoke for the most part. i think it's linked to his emotions so consciously it responds how he does. angry? it's like you're being choked, etc. happy? you're warm and feel almost a heightened sense of elation. aroused? well... uh, let's just say everything starts feeling a lot more good (canon btw)
sir knight can speak via telekinesis but is more inclined to actually talk.
likes being affectionate with his master and thrives with giving affection/taking care of his master. his love language is acts of service and touch to me so you know, his master needing that out of him is like a dream.
eden
has a lot of upper arm strength and has a really strong grip to me. i think his legs are pretty strong as well but his arms are something else.
can ALSO use a variety of handheld weapons but his go-to is his shotgun.
he is very scarred. he has so many with origins he's long forgotten or even if you point one out he's like huh. (doesnt know where it came from). one day i wanna do a scar map for him.
likes pc voice a lot but doesn't go out of his way to encourage them to speak. just hones in their voice when they do and tends to let them go on (bonus points if the two are cuddling or snugged up by the fire. he's used to the quiet and ambience in his cabin but pc being there and speaking adds a whole layer to this ambience that brightens his life a bit.)
would card his fingers through pc's hair or touch/pat/pinch at their cheeks/face. often does this with like :| a blank face but maybe towards the end he'd crack a brief tiny smile.
is very obstinate on things he decides and sometimes it's a detriment. with defiant pcs i think this leads to arguing a lot and in instances he may consider budging but it would probably take consistent discussion over a period of weeks to even a month or more. eden has a very set way of things HE wants to do things and dislikes breaking from what has always been his normal.
handholding addict. likes the feel of pc's hands against his. the power of touch is a crazy thing and it definitely makes him feel a type of way.
not really a fan of alcohol nor does he have any interest in drinking.
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Also when I make shitposty jokes like that I LOVE taking them Way Too Seriously. Like. Yeah that's funny, but what does it Mean actually, for Freyja to say all that to Moe? Is she propping herself up, rubbing salt in the wounds of someone who could not achieve "goodness" as presented to it, by explicitly stating she was raised as a lotus flower, already a pure and divine being from the start? Who, as you can plainly see, manages to embody that purity and divinity to this day, whereas Moe has failed to? By saying she smells nice like vanilla all the time, does that imply that Moe could stand to have better hygiene habits, or at least is self-conscious of the times it gets forgetful and/or neglectful in that regard? Or at very least is just extremely self-conscious that it sweats a lot when nervous (which is nearly all the damn time)? And when Freyja leaves the beetle for dead in such a specific way, is Moe thinking of and empathizing with the protagonist of Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis?
#moe tag#moe lore#there's an eviler option for the second example. btw. not telling you what.#i really did just make like. the world's most abandoned stray cat of a guy.#world's most pathetic sopping wet beast. who has so many problems. an ungodly amount of complexes.#maybe the ultimate power fantasy is being so outrageously sad and soggy and bitey on top of that for good measure#and having a lot of weird and embarrassing things going on but.#still being beloved. being safe to be all those things.#you have to work with the people who love you who you love of course. that's a constant lesson moe is learning#but you can be loved AND safe. you can be safe and loved.
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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I feel like if Dipper were ever reincarnated as a demon, he wouldn't fit in super well with the others. Yes, he's been raised to vie for power and step on everyone in his way using whatever means is necessary - it's the same toxic bizz as when he was a human, appealing to gender norms. He's tougher, scarier, more powerful (than ordinary humans, that is), but when it comes to asserting control - being Evil - he doesn't have it in him. Given enough time, I think he'd grow pretty vocal about leaving living things alone. NOT torturing organisms for the hell of it, or stealing people's souls, or conquering planets. Sure, he's a demon. That's no excuse to be a MONSTER.
It's a VERY unpopular opinion amongst neighboring demons, and rumor spreads fast about the Goody Two-Shoed Activist imp raining on everyone's blood-splattered parade, so much so that it makes it to Bill, who's immediately intrigued. Call it intuition, but only one soul's capable of overriding goddamn demon nature for some preachy bullshit about "Doing Good." Lucky for him, demons occupy the same plane of existence, so all it really takes to verify the guy is a snap of his fingers, and POOF! He's floating right next to him. Sure enough, Dipper's fashioned himself a new and improved demonic form, and it is lovely!
No one likes Dipper's kumbaya "Can't We All Just Get Along" ideology, but Bill's almost instantly smitten with the guy, whoever he is, so he's gotta be at least somewhat powerful. Demons take notice when the all-powerful Bill Cipher starts lending his time (and magic?) to some low-leveler like Dipper. Is he being blackmailed? Are they working together? No. Not possible. Bill doesn't "work" with anyone, save for whatever human catches his eye every few decades. Doesn't look to be doing him any benefit, either. The opposite, even. Lending power to a saint like Dipper only makes it harder to cause chaos, after all. Why would he actively go against his OWN best interest to cater some imp's? It's almost like he's. He's.
A henchmen.
(Bill's also 30% more affectionate the first month they reunite, because he still can't believe that his adorable little human husband came back as the same SPECIES as him! He'd never complain over having a sweet human to squeeze, but one with teeth and claws and cute pointy ears doesn't hurt).
#answers#I can't help but picture demon dipper starting out all like#I'm Bad 😡 I'm Mean 😡 I'm Evil As Heck!! 😡#And still having a HUGE hatred for things that are Unfair or Unjust. One time he saved a kitten from a tree and got embarrassed about it#Eventually he just has to give into his nature and speak up about all the BULLSHIT he sees going on around him#Sorry Dippin' Dots even the society that 'raised' you can't prevent you from your do-gooder ways#Don't worry Bill loves you for the stupid idiot you are#Everyone is completely BAFFLED by Bill acting like a friggin' henchman though#I bet they don't even peg it as romantic interest at first. Dipper sure doesn't#He's thinking this is some Grand Scheme to convince him back into the evil fold#And to be fair Bill's very tempting in that respect. But not leaning as hard into it as he *could* be#Maybe he thinks Bill's trying to 'mentor' him for something. Seems like the kind of thing Bill would imply and let Dipper fill in the gaps#They're technically not the same SPECIES since Dipper's probably some human-shaped 'demon'#And Bill's originally from a two-dimensional weird universe. Technically speaking he's His Own Thing#Aside from whatever refugees escaped that plane. If any.#Demon covers a LOT of different beings that don't have much or any genetics in common#But you KNOW Bill's thrilled as hell that Dipper's Slightly More Immortal than usual!! This one's gonna last a WHILE#*slams fist on table* Give Dipper A Tail With A Tuft That Bill Can Pull To Be Annoying#Final thought: In this incarnation Bill might have been wondering where the hell Dipper got to since there's no human around#Given a long enough time he might even wonder if he was LOST#So you know that when Dipper reemerges on the scene everyone else was dealing with a VERY unhappy Bill Cipher for QUITE a while
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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ugh okay yeah now i've thought too much about writing and am making myself feel very weird and bad. i think it is sleep tiem
#the anniversary of completing HYH is tomorrow and i'm abruptly feeling like. sad and weird and embarrassed about the writing i've done this#year which isn't fair because i Have actually put out a lot of things i'm REALLY proud of but i didn't manage to finish bury us both when i#wanted to and. actually i think i'm going to leave it there. i don't need to work myself into more of a frenzy.#melatonin and seltzer and sleep. i will be fine#bye!!
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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truly something so empowering in just saying ‘fuck it we ball’. what a life changing mentality
#i’m a whole lot braver than i used to be#like of course the fear (anxiety) is still there but i’ve gotten a whole lot better at managing working through it#and often this is just brute-forcing my way through the anxiety. and that’s by saying fuck it we ball and just doing it scared#what’s gonna happen? i’m gonna embarrass myself? WHATEVER! i’ve embarrassed myself so many times in my life#it’s a regular part of my routine at this point. this is the nature of finding your place in this world. being clumsy and stupid.#this isn’t to say that anxiety doesn’t hold me back from things still. it definitely still absolutely does#i do some ridiculous shit because of anxiety#such as. oh shit i started walking the wrond direction. well i cant just turn around in the middle of the sidewalk ill look stupid.#i’ll just do a full loop around this building to turn myself around#fucking stupid. and very real thing that i have done.#i’m also weird about not knowing where i’m going inside a building. i get scared to walk around to look for a bathroom#ESPECIALLY in restaurants. i always ask where the restroom is before looking for it if i can’t see it from my seat#but then i realize im just walking and no one cares and im so brave
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girl help I’m experiencing
#weird addendum but pls don’t reblog my vent posts??? why would you even want to????#everything has been So Much lately and I wasn’t gonna vent but then I remembered this is my blog and I can do what I want#one of my best friends left the country last week and he’ll be gone for like two years and I’m so sad without him around#I mean he’s been messaging me every day since he left but it’s still hard not having him here yknow?#and I’m moving into his place but it requires a lot of work before I can so I’m always exhausted#and my joints have all but given out on me completely so I’m always covered in KT tape and braces#which doesn’t gel very well with moving furniture and heavy boxes#and I have no money so I need to be job searching but I can’t do that until I move. BUT I NEED MONEY TO MOVE#on top of that my grandpa died and there’s so much family drama involving that it’s unreal#and weirdly the thing I’ve recently felt bad about is I’ve been neglecting my self imposed Fandom Duties#maybe not fandom specifically but like. creative duties#I want to write fic. I want to draw. I want to read and comment on other people’s stuff#I also really want to do more of my non fandom writing because I want to get something published this year. but i got no good idea aaack#or early next year#and I’ve just had like. no time at all to do any of it and the time I have had I’ve been too drained to do it#ughghghghghghggh#I think today I will drink and try to write something. as a treat.#after I go on a reblog spree to bury this because emotions are very embarrassing#anyway how are you?
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sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i think abt this a lot. and also a lot of other ffxiv stuff LMFAO#it's amazing ..... drk is a huge example of this i think#bcs it plays into the guilt and whatnot the wol feels and all that. spectacular#endwalker !!!!! shadowbringers!!! the way the game uses the concept of hope is just always so beautiful and fascinating to me#and yeah bunch of games may have like. mc you create & design but not always can you like. ehvejfhsjf idk how to explain LOL#it is 4 pm i woke up 2 hours ago but priorly woke at 7 am after havingn a rlly. weird sleep.#to which my twin told me 'i wont tell u what time it is' as we went to sleep so it def was Really late#bcs we were going thru re2 and she was also playing games on steam i've been telling her to play#(to which i got her fav characters right and knew fr how'd she'd like the game LMFAO. twins amiright.)#actually that is also smth so fascinating to me bcs. i always have had someone w me in my life. i am literally never alone.#to which what i'm getting at here is Wow... it's like having a sleepover every single day. and i was a kid always sad never to have#sleepovers bcs my parents were strict (they r cool tho!) but i was a kid who wanted to experience all the kid things#but i didn't rlly but that's fine :P i am a grateful person LOL anyway back on track back on black#ffxiv... the game that u are.....#it's the 1st game that rlly actually made me invested in the ocs of others and also make a fully fledged oc that wasn't just originally mine#but for a fandom or something. and also it got me back into writing and Into making poetry and prose so. yeah.#it's amazing how much. oc x canon ???? yeah. ffxiv is so Wow#like eveyrhhting w themis or graha and how u can AAGGGHHH shit w your oc . so many possibilities#and that character. those possibilities. are already in game but also expanded by the player and the fanbade and#idk it's so beautiful to me WHAGHSGDJDH. and yes me saying themis or graha up there is self-indukgent bcs#both of them are so Insane it's so. insane!!!!! i will never forget what happened in abyssos in particular that Broke me#and anabaseios... :)) i cried so much it is almost embarrassing. and wow. asphodelos. wverything w themis just. yeah#anyway graha... self-explanatory if u know..... idk he's the character of all time to me. simply said. but themis is crazy bcs going thru ab#yssos made me think for a bit 'hey themis might be my fav character in ffxiv now' but No but also Wow. wow#kinda cute bcs me and my twin have a thing where she has a certain type of chara she likes and me too#so sometimes. most times. all times. we have our own characters we like anyway but sometimes they overlap but either the case we kinda#lowkey 'segregate???' idk if that is a good word but we do that w our fav characters. so like emet is her fav elidibus is mine.#and that was all the way in arrr alr and we barely knew spoilers so that's kinda crazy! anyway
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affirmations
anybody who discounts me for being weird was never ever going to be a good fit anyway
i am honest about who i am
i can never be too weird
weirdness on its own is morally neutral
#affirmations#autism#somebody just asked me if i was praying because i had my hands clasped with my palms pointed towards the ground#im at the garden so like?? honestly fair question?#and im like should i have said yes?#i said im just resting which was my conscious intent but also my life is a prayer so it could've really gone either way#but im kind of weary of the kind of obfuscative vibe of just answering peoples “are you doing something weird right now” with yes And.#i want to just like. uhh. be.#i did see water hose guy btw! pretty as ever. embarrassed myself also of course. no i will not be elaborating#everything's fine it's fine. i got my garden water which is the real important thing#and the tap on my one-ton water container seems to be holding fine 🩷🩷🩷#i got over three tons of water =3#and my garden plan involves a lot lot less watering than it ever has before so this might genuinely be all i need for the season#fingers crossed tbh#not filling up on water if they come around again sounds scary but also if there's a drought again the#then im going to be very pleased that i did things this was#way#gardening#holyposting
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10 Happy Things
May 11, 2024
Slept most of the day let's gooo
My bed and clothes are so warm and cozy
Called my mom and apparently she was out with people but she stepped outside to talk to me for a bit before going back to them and just feeling very very loved
My mom called me back and I talked to my sisters for nearly two hours hwjoiegdjkl we're just absolute nerds the lot of us
The Bible Plan I've been doing these past few days is just re-looking at everything from the basis of just get right with God, are you following Jesus and it's been very comforting to have that reminder like it is relational, it is supposed to be a delightful life we're living, there's no stress at all about doing x or y and if you're supposed to, it will not be anything but good
I can't really move my toes individually (except the ones at the ends) and I think it's kinda cute. They're a pack. They're friends. Do Not Separate.
The Tim Horton's White Hot Chocolate is so insanely good
Dungeon Meshi is such a good manga broooo
There are so many joys that I don't think I'll run out of them, and isn't that just the most delightful thing ever?
When I started this list I was feeling a little tired but now I'm quite happy and excited!! I'm so grateful to Katie for getting me into this, and my friends who also do stuff like this
#5 happy things#i don't know why but sometimes i feel a bit silly posting these online bc they're always so personal#like my awesome mom and my weird toes and my religious leanings - i know none of it is very relateable#but i think we're all allowed to be a little selfish in our joy and it's little hurt to see someone else's pleasure i hope#i got my period last night and was as usual quite unwell physically but oh what a delight it was otherwise#i went through the little routine i tend to go through with my mom of like dragging over a chair to lay on while in the bathroom#and setting up the trash can and such nearby#and i missed my mom and thought about calling her and i didn't bc it was like 3am though i did immediately today hehe#but i just thought it was really so incredible to have a mom who i wanted to call when i was ill. who i could call anytime i wanted#how rare is that? how wonderful is that? it touched me so much that all the physical pain felt worth it for the proper knowing of that love#i was thinking about all the good things i've been given - my house and bed and blankets and covers and clothes#and as i was praying i was also thinking that this was what my dad taught me and how he comforted me#and when he prayed for me or tells me he prays for me that's how i know he loves me more than i could know#there are a lot of my joys i think are embarrassing but to be treasured isn't one of them. that one's just pure thankfulness#i know i'm quite spoiled and young and silly in many ways and i'm so thankful for it. i hope i can love others even a fraction as i've been#knowing full well that i'll always be in debt to the goodness of the world and the kindness it unceasingly gives me
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